Saturday, August 16, 2014

New Beginnings.. Part 2

Oops!  And wifi goof...
21 weeks ago I could not say that I'm thankful for change!
I'm thankful for change!  Yes I said it!!!!
I know who my true friends are ( friends that never leave you) and I know who aren't.  My friends who prayed daily for us, gave to us and was just here to sit, is ten and hold us friends that will never leave us..
I'm also thankful that change meant new Beginnings, new friends that would cross our paths and new journeys..  The boys and I have had a great month with new changes andBeginnings   and I'm so thankful their is sunshine in our life's today..the boys are happy and loving dinner time.  Thank you special someone!!!

And last of all I think today I can truly say Thank you for that text we received 21 weeks ago, memories will last a lifetime and the past 22 years of memories is all we have of that journey. You did something I would never be strong enough to do on my own but it's a end to a end to a new beginning. I've let it go and looking forward to a fresh new beginning with or without a mate.. I'm blessed with 5 beautiful babies and 7 beautiful Grans.
If their is one thing I've learn from the past 22 years is you will never survive in this world 1st you must have God in you life and until you love yourself and love to live with yourself...
God is good, he has never left me and never will......
Psalms 37:3 Trust in The Lord
Psalms 37:4 Delight thyself also in The Lord and he shall give you the desires of thine heart..
Preacher gave these verses to me years ago and they have never left me...Dr. Richard Cordell

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New Beginnings....

Yes it's been a year!!!!!
A year full of  bumps in the road....
I don't even know where to start but to where I left off.  We had just left Kyle at Faulkner to begin his college/ Football career. I will have to say, it torn my heart apart to let he go and then even harder to watch he play in a very different pond... His years at PCS was Golden, he was awesome!  Now to move up to where the team was full of Golden boys, it never crossed my mind at the PCS vs HA game that it would be the last time to watch him run the ball.....

Football for Kyle was a High School love and at a College level it was a choice of his dream of being a Orthopedic Surgeon over playing ball. My heart was crushed and after much prayer and pleading to re-think his decision he was finished with sports...and now for the next 9 years he will be preparing for his dream which will lead him to the Mission Field, what mother could not be proud of this ????

Kamren finished his second year at PCS, playing Football, Basketball and Track which would lead him to a broken back ( weights) and 12 weeks if rehab.

ENTER the big TORNADO!!!!
Spring Break while the boys and I were out of town our life's would be forever changed..21 weeks ago I could not say what I'm about to say.  21 weeks we were devastated didn't know what to expected or which way to turn.. We have always sorta done our thing, just the boys and I but this was permanent ..
Fast forward 21 weeks later... We are great!!!!  God is Good!!!!
We have moved on, we choose not to look back, we are a family, we are at peace and we choose not to hate or hold grudges, it is what it is.. We know in time God will send us not a replacement but someone to love us and someone for us to love. Life is full of disappointments  and adjustments and we are adjusting day at a time..

Talk about Change!!!!!!
Kyle is in his  last year at Wallace and loving it.. He has become the man of the house ...not!!!!  Lol... I still do all the work around here but back in December when he called saying he was finished with Football and I couldn't understand how he could just lay the sport down he loved so much .. god had a plan, God knew last December Kamren and I would need  him home for us.. In everything we've been through Kyle has always been right here to listen and hold me up.. Kyle is a sweetheart with his mothers heart, I know God has great plans for him.  I love you son!  You will always be the great at anything you do, I've loved every minute of watching you play sports and now watching you become a man...

Kamren is now at Carver and loving it... He is loving his time at Northview on the side line with the Cougars.. He loves his coaches and can't wait to play ball next year.

Change ???
 I fought change with every fiber of my being but knowing in the back of my mind God had a plan, I just didn't see it or know it yet. I have ask Hid many times why???? Why are we alone????  Why is he not playing ball???? Why is he changing schools???? Why am I alone???? And the answers are now clear..  I didn't get the answer immediately but 3 months later I knew why Kyle was home... Less than 2 weeks I knew why Kamren switched schools... As for me being alone????  Still don't know that one..  I'm told that the things that doesn't kill you will make you stronger.... Well I really don't feel the need to be any stronger.. I can do anything that needs to be done around here but God didn't make me to be alone.. I think I was given this time to find myself, my real self, not the one a man tried to shape to his expectations, I have found peace in my heart, peace with my boys, peace in this home and slowing my blacken heart is trying to tick again.. Tears, tears and more tears have been shed over the last 21 weeks but they are turning from bitterness/ hate to happiness. Yes Happiness!!! The sun is trying to shine here and it's a good a feeling I've not felt, the boys have not felt in years our home is smiling but not without a very dark bumpy journey.
Have we made it through???  I'm not sure but we are smiling and it's a good feeling...

Without God and friends we would have struggle. There has not been a day we had to face without God our friends and family!  I'm even more thankful for the new friends G do put in our path through this journey

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