* Trusting God... one surprise at a time.

One of our many Easter Dinners....
Natalie, Sophie and Nicole... I think this was the last Easter before we moved..

I tried to delete this one but couldn't... they look like Ghost...
The front door, on the steps was always our spot for pictures....
Many "Ann Varnum" shows were taped in this kitchen..



Went to 102 today to make a walk through not sure of what we would find after not being inside for 17 months. When I left the house it was with the intention of not moving back but moving on to better things. Little did I know what was in the making and what would play out some 17 months later. Lots of stories have come to us but if I have learned anything in my last 20 years is not to judge and always know their is always 2 sides...

As we arrive we were very shocked as to what was taking place, not knowing how we would be welcomed we enter "our" home. I almost ran to the Sun Room to see my 6th baby(my Gran-Piano) that I had not seen nor played in 17 months..it was there!!!!!!!! I would have loved to sat and played but the atmosphere screamed your not wanted here!!!!

It was very sad, this was to be their home and now they were having to say goodbye and I am facing the fact I have to move back(this week end) not knowing for how long because it is still for sale... Oh well, I will do what I have to do but there is alot of work to be done..I did not realize when I moved out 17 months that I would ever miss that huge house..It is a lot of work to keep it cleaned and with two boys going in two different direction we are never home, so the day I left I felt like a huge load had been lifted from me. And the fact in 1 year Kyle will be off to college and what do we need that big of a home with just the three of us...

Well to say all of that... after I saw my Piano and walking through the house this crazy feeling began stirring in me and I can't explain it.. I began to almost cry, a sadness stirred inside me, as I looked around at the memories. I looked at the bay window and I could see my daddy and Matthew on 10-10-00 up in the tree building Kyle and his little Brother that I was inside giving birth to a double Decker Tree House, the swing that daddy climb up even higher in the tree to hang.At times the tree house would have 10 to 12 little boys in it playing Robin Hood. The woods that Matthew and myself cleared with just a axe and push mower.Lot's of sweat and blood had been put into those woods..I remember the weekend we moved into the house and everything was put up, Mother and the kids packed up and with back to Winfield, leaving me(great with child) and little Kyle all alone in that castle. Kirk was writing his 1st book and had a trip to Atlanta so me and Kyle were all alone. We with out to the huge screened in back porch to sit and watch the many squirrels and we couldn't even see the road for the woods, so as soon as I had Kamren and could walk we started on those woods. I saw all the Easter Egg Hunts we had had each year with our friends. The fire pit in the woods that Kyle and his buddies loved sitting around at night. The batting cage daddy had made for the boys.
Back in the house the memories were bouncing at me like crazy... I did not go in the garage for the memory of falling through the Attic, I live with that pain everyday so I did not need to see that. Lot's of reflecting in such a short visit.. I went in with a nervous/heavy heart and came out broken to pieces.. Broken for them and broken at what I had left behind without even looking back. If you remember they knocked on our door on a Sunday afternoon and we were out on Friday.. I did not have time to think about anything. I have not looked back or allowed myself to say I wished I had never left or I wished for it back, we just got out and I think I had blocked it from any hurt and really any memories...
God has his hand in everything and I don't have the answers but he knows our plans... I must wait to be shown and I can't see past today...After being inside today I think in my heart that God is allowing me to go back for a reason and I must be willing to find it and accept it.
Kyle is glowing in delight that he gets to spend (he hopes) his last year of High School in the Big House, he has not had the room in the rental to have the guys over for their "grilling and chilling", so he can't wait. Kamren was always afraid of the house because it was sooo big and his room was on the 2nd floor close to the attic, so I just told him today that we were moving back so I guess I will have a new bed buddy.
I must say I have missed my HUGE KITCHEN!!!!! and the short time we were there today I felt like I was Home!!! Don't know for how long but will love it for whatever time we are granted. As my Blog reads... Trusting God..One surprise at a time...