Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Have you seen the Secret Life of the Bees?
There is a part in the movie about a girl named May that was troubled with her past..in dealing with her past she had a rock wall that was called her "Wailing Wall"...this is where when troubled, sad, or any sad event that caused her pain she would go to the wall with her problem or need written on a piece of paper and stick them in her "Wailing Wall"..
This week I could really use a Wailing Wall....I guess at this very moment I have come to my Wall which is here...I feel as if I could fill the wall with notes of pain and flood the yard with tears. Some much hurt, lies and in a Christ-Like way I feel like Jesus hanging on the cross being spit at, beaten to death and with many nails...I know we all have the valleys to travel but the last few days it has been more of the will I ever make it out... and then my Wall brings me to the pics above,,FAMILY and Very Sweet Friends....
Living in Dothan has it's good and it's bad, the bad being not having your family when you need a Wall to cry on. I am so very thankful for my dear friends that are always here for me, never asking questions but always praying for you and drop everything in a heart beat to help. As I look at my parents I'm quickly reminded of the Christian home I was brought up in..Christian meaning we knew no other life but Church. We never ask on Saturday "are we going to church tomorrow" we knew if that church door was open we would be there. I was taught the meaning of being on time... we were always 1hr early to every thing, to this day that has caused so many fight in this house because I am a get there early and Kirk is a get there after the singing is over... I have tried to teach my boys,, you don't get to work and school late and you sure don't get to church late. I was home this past weekend and once again each morning as I came down the stairs there was my mom and dad reading their Bibles .Proverbs 22:6 Train in the Bible. up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from you... My parents did their job at this... They taught me that you never give up on each other, that looking for greener pastures were never a option. The family that prays together stay together.I have been to H and back, never leaving my faith behind but not as close to God as I knew I should be, strayed at times, but God's word and the teaching of my parents were always there...it was burned and sketched in stone in my brain... Rest assured "your sins will find you out"... I have sinned, we all have sinned but my God is a loving forgiving God, just like my parents, my Blood family... they will always be there for me, praying for me, cheering me on...pick up your head and run to my arms...you can make it...the world is not fair..but you are strong and you will make it....But you have to keep your eyes on the cross!!!!( a Bro. Cordell Sermon)...
Yes, my life here is much different from life in Winfield.... Winfield is so much about church...here soooo much about stuff,,ball, ball and more ball, Thank the Lord Kyle is in a Christian school where they are taught the Bible and Kam will be there next year, but as I get older I see the whole picture and looking at what I have faced this week... The child is coming back to mom and dad....home sounds really great, some what like the prodical son...This world is not my home, I'm just passing through.. The long road home and believe me it is a very long road to me.
I am very troubled with lots of Wailing to do on my Wall, yes God will bring you to your knees, you can buy love and money will not buy you happiness... The Devil is very alive and destroying many many life's and all I pray for is Jesus come quickly!!!!!!
God gives us family and he puts others in our paths for a reason...I cherish my friends and family and so thankful they are my rocks to lean on. My friends have become my family and tonight a special friend really confirmed that ( God only knows what that phone call meant to me).
God is in control and only God knows what tomorrow holds.. If I died tonight I will be at peace, my wall is full , my heart is full but I have placed it all in the wall. God knows every note that is on that wall and if tomorrow comes I will pick myself up, thinks of my parents, look to the cross and try to be a better person. I do not care to carry a heart full of hate and bitterness, it is what it is,,,, so I say to the Wall... how do I choose to deal with it? God took beatings and the name calling so I must be Christ like and forgiving...
The Wailing Wall...".God"..... hear are my "pains".....I lay them all on you!!!!!!!
Posted by Nai Nai at 8:15 PM