Friday, June 20, 2008

* A Letter to M, M & M

The picture above says it all!!!

I always knew Matthew would make some girl a wonderful Husband and some little boy or girl a wonderful daddy. Now, Melanie and MeLeah I know you will read this, and the two of you are just as special and important and I will talk about yall later but for some reason I always worried about Matthew being happy. No one knows until they have been down the road of (D) but for all those that have, they will understand. My heart hurts everyday not for what happen " things happen" but for what it does to the kids. There are times now when I want to throw in the towel but I look at you three and say "never" not again. I'm not saying yall were not worth it but you learn by you mistakes and believe me I have paid. I have worried for years about the scars that you three would carry through life, but I think and see you three are all very, very loving and caring and you all have very big hearts, and you three have all made wonderful parents and overcome your parents failure.
Kamren has spent the week with Melo and she reminds me of myself so many years ago. Content to be at home, busy baking and spending time with the babies, working at church all the things I did in another life.
MeLeah, reminds me of myself now, always ready to go, ready to paint a room in an hour ( maybe not right now since she is a month from delivery).

Today I received a card from Matthew that put me in tears, it did not contain a gift or $$$, but the words he wrote could not have been bought, there is no price to buy his words. I know people can write things they would not say, but I know Matthew would say everything he wrote. Somewhere in his parents mixed up world he made it through the STORM and he got it right.( I must say right here, Matthew got his heart from both parents and I think his dad would agree. His dad has always had a very big and tender heart when it came to need of others, he always put others 1st, Matthew is so much like his daddy in every aspect). Matthew survived and is a wonderful husband and Dad. I worried that his heart was so BIG that he would be hurt by some girl. I worried when he met Chris and got attached to Bailey ( not knowing that he would be Bailey's Dad) that he would be hurt. I worried all the time about his happiness. I knew the girls would be OK, when they married I knew Joel & Drew where the right ones for them, and then they had babies to care for, but I still worried for Matthew. (also remember your mother married some 7-10 years earlier than you three)
When Matthew started dating Chris, a part of me would wish that she would be the one and then my phone calls that I got on a regular basics started getting farther apart( this usually means there is a girl when the boys quit calling mom). With Cris, came Bailey and I could see that Matthew was drawn. I must tell you, knowing Chris and Bailey I was still afraid he would get hurt.( I will say that Chris did take and break one of Matt's habits and I will forever be grateful to you for that). Now, for all of you that are mothers I can't explain why you worry more for one child than the other but you do, that's not saying you love one more than the other, I think a mother can just tell which one needs the most worry and at what time to worry about each one and Matthew was the one I worried about the most when it came to a spouse. And yes, both girls had their share of "boy" trouble.
On fathers day I felt like it was Mothers day when I read Chris's blog. I knew everything she said about Matt but to hear a wife say the things she said was just a blessing any parent would want to hear about their child. I knew after reading her blog that yes, she was the one that God chose for Matthew, that she could say all those things about Matthew, that she realized what she had in Matthew and she didn't have to have a nagging in-law to say " you just don't know how blessed you are" she knows and she appreciates him for what he is and does for her and the boy's. She not only bragged on him for being a good daddy to Avery but a good daddy to Bailey. I did not even realized what all he does for Bailey at school and in sports. Let me just say that when I tell people I have (6 counting baby Makezine) gran children, I always say 5 and 1 on the way, I always include Bailey he is as much Matthew's son as Avery is, Matthew has loved Bailey like his own.
Matthew is a very Loving brother to Kyle & Kamren, I will never forget how good he was to help me with Kyle when he was born. He would get up and get dressed each morning for school and come get Kyle from me, bathe and dress Kyle while I got up and got dressed. When he came home from school he would take care of Kyle while I cooked supper and get him ready for bed. I will never forget we had a riding lawn mower and he would ride Kyle around the house until he would fall asleep. Kirk used to kid Matthew that he would be driving that lawn mower on his 1st date. I always knew that who ever got Matthew was getting a "GEM".
I could go on about each one of you, today just happen to be Matthew.
I love you all and you are all very special children. You all have very precious families and always remember your parents are very proud of you. I will ever be grateful to my parents who stepped in and became your parents at a very dark time in all of our lives, I thank the lord everyday for the way our lives have turned out. I have often wondered and asked what? and why? but for some reason it happened and we must carry on trying not to carry any baggage with us, some of us carry more baggage than others, but we must go on.
We all have been through the storms, some darker and stormer than others, but I think I can say for the most part "we made it through". I thank the lord everyday for my parents who I know prays for us all daily, for your God loving spouses (Joel, Drew & Chris). I thank the Lord most that through all the storms, you three are all in Church and are raising your children like you were raised and you never took your eyes off God. I love you all and my heart breaks daily to be near you, to see the babies more and hear their voices. I am so thankful you three were never more than a few miles away from MawMaw & PawPaw, who you saw everyday of your life. ( It pains me deeply that Kyle & Kamren miss out on knowing MawMaw & PawPaw like you three) Thank the Lord for computers and blogs. I guess in a nut shell this was my "God Stop Friday".

Love, Mom (NeNe)

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